SlingShot
by avalongal316
Summary: A one shot crack story. Rated M for a lot of swearing and hints of sexual themes.


**Me: Welcome to another pointless one-shot we'll never update! ^^;**

**Jenn: Yeah.. Ok... I'm sure this one will deffinately have a sequel... I hope**

**Me: .. Doubt it :|**

**Jenn: *chokes on hot chocolate***

**Me: -.-' Let's just start...**

**Disclaimer: Though many fangirls probably have tried, we do NOT own Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji (Jenn: I am Grell, therefor I own Sebas-chan and Will c(; ) (Me: ... You're delusional.)**

**Lea's POV**

Alright, why not. We, as in Jenn and I, had this _brilliant_ idea to have a Black Butler marathon... Again. After we got through a few episodes, Jenn developed a craving for hot chocolate. ... Which I wound up making. Deciding to be a smart ass 'bout it, I put it in for 2 minutes. Which is HOT for my microwave.

The timer beeped, and Jenn went to pick the mug up. Yelping, she let go of it. "I can't even touch it!" She flipped out, huffing in annoyance. Rolling my eyes I grabbed a papertowel and bunched it up, using it as an oven mitt to set it on the counter.

After somehow getting it back to the table, she set it down, and took a cautious sip. ... Which she immediately reacted like Grell to the salt tea in Black Butler II, episode ten. I stifled a laugh as she pouted. "Cllaauuddee," She whined, "Get your butt over here and cool off my hot chocolate!"

"Claude's an ass." I huffed. It serves him right for getting in the way of one of my OTP's. "Unfortunetly he has a new fangirl." Jenn drawled. "Me." I face-palmed, groaning... Typical.

Suddenly she cracked up. "Cooling... Hot chocolate... If you know what I mean!" I couldn't help joining her in laughing. She had such a perverted mind sometimes- No, scratch that. ALL the time. She paused. "... We should go shoot that ammo I brought over." I knew exactly what she was talking about. The 1/4 inch diameter premium steel slightshot ammo. I smriked. "Alright, why not~. I mean, it's only after midnight."

"Yeah, we might hit your neighbiors house, but who cares?" She said, getting up. I sighed. "Jenn.." I started, but she would't hear it. "Nope. We're going." She said, grabbing my arm and dragging me out, approval or not.

Setting the ammo on the stone wall, I told her where we could aim without hitting any houses. Let's just hope no birds were in the trees or anything.

"Maybe zombies will come out." Jenn commented thoughtfully, thinking back to our recent adventure that involved running from zombies in minecraft. I facepalmed. .. Again.

**Jenn's POV**

Lea pulled back on the slingshot and sent the first steel ball rocketting off into the trees. As she attempted rapid-fire slingshotting, I peered through the darkness into the treeline and said, "What if someone's watching us and we hit them?" Sometimes comments like that fall out of my mouth at random.

"You're delusional." she flung another shot into the trees.

"You're the delusion- wait. That doesn't make sense. Or does it?"

"Stop confusing yourself!"

I snatched the slingshot from her hands and grabbed more ammo. I shrugged and flung it into the trees. But there was no sound of it falling and hitting the tree branches on its decent. Instead there was a distressed shout, "You _never _hit a lady in the face!"

I paused, and Lea and I did a double-take. "That sounds oddly familiar." I pondered. Why was it so familiar? Then it hit me, almost literally because a roaring chainsaw buzzed past my head and stuck right into the side of the house. That would need some explaining.

"HOLY CRAP ON A BISCUIT." I slowly spoke and turned to look at the chainsaw sawwing through the stone. I looked to Lea, who had a terrifyingly mischivious glint in her eye. "No thievery."

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have stayed as calm and collected as I did, but also under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have a head anymore. And Lea probably would've stolen the chainsaw. Either way, I was far too sleep deprived to function correctly.

Grell, of all people on the universe, leapt from the trees sporting a large welt on his cheek and an "A-shaped" frowning expression. He pointed to the red welt. "You don't hit a lady's face."

I retorted, "You don't try to take off a lady's head with a chainsaw."

**Lea's POV**

While the two crimson headed people- Errr, _ladies_, argued, I eyed the chainsaw still stuck in the wall with a miscivious glint in my eyes. According to the anime/manga I've read so much, (*coughcough*NothankstomygirlfriendShy*coughcough*) , that would be his death sycthe.

Glancing back at the two arguing, I smirked, and walked over to it, flipping he switch to the "off" postion. No response from the two. I swiftly pulled it out of the wall, and took off, chuckling quietly at this new weapon I had... _acquired_. I ran for a little ways back to the trail before pausing, hearing a change in the tree's rustling. Turning with the chainsaw in an offensive position, I saw... absolutely nothing. "Lower case o, three, lower case o, semi-colon..." I muttered to myself. I turned back, only to come face to face with Sebastian. "... Fuuuccckkkk." I swore, then laughed nervously. "Don't mind me, I'll just, uhhhh.. Bye!" I said, dashing off. Before I got anywhere, he grabbed the back of the collar of my shirt, dragging me back, with a 'wtf' expression. "Equal sign, three, equal sign..." I muttered quietly to myself.

**Jenn's POV**

The arguing stopped abruptly when there was the sound of unhappy mumbling and the dragging of feet on the ground. A tall, black figure rounded the corner with a chainsaw in one hand while the other dragged Lea through the grass.

"What are you doing trying to steal my chainsaw! I worked hard to customize that!" Steam was practically billowing from Grell's nose. And thjen, the figure was revealed.

My heart skipped a beat, and Grell forgot all about the chainsaw inncident. "SEBAS-CHAN!" we squealed in unison.

Then, nothing but silence as Grell and I eyed each other up. Glaring, would be more appropriate. Horrified would not even begin to describe the look on Sebastian's face. Lea exploded in hysterical laughter that rivalled the Undertaker's.

"...I swear we gotta be related somehow." I said to Grell.

Sebastian dropped Lea in the driveway and Lea flipped him off. He ignored her and attempted to sneak off. "Hey! Where are you going? I have teeaaaa!" I lunged for his leg, and Grell wentt for the other. Lea was too busy taking pictures of the scene. Although there wouldn't be a place for her to cling to...Wait, I take that back. (Jenn: *is smacked by Lea* Lea: ...No. =3=)

Another shape emerged from the darkness with the laugh of a mad man. "Oh God."

**Lea's POV**

"Oh fuck yeah!" I exaclaimed with another laugh. The Undertaker. ... I paused for a moment. Why are we not highly confused? I checked my watch. 1:48 a.m. No wonder. Caffine deprived and sleep deprived. Meh. Grell sighed, still hugging onto the pedo-demons leg. "Bassy dear~ Why don't we stay here~?" "Not in my house you're not." I deadpanned. He stuck his tounge out at me, which I returned promptely in the form of flipping off. "YOU DO NOT FLIP OFF A LADY!" He shrieked. Rolling my eyes, I noticed Jenn was missing. ... Shit.

"Hey, where's the other me...?" Grell wondered out loud.

Somehow, someway, for some REASON, Ciel popped up. WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT. "I didn't know she did things that way." He said in disgust.

I was mortified. Not my bed...I had the feeling I would have to buy new sheets.

**Jenn's POV**

I tugged Claude by his tie into the dimmly lit house and to the nearest bed.

I had no idea how, why, and for what reason he eagerly went along with it, but I totally went with it. My eyes quickly adjusted to the lighting, and as soon as they did, I pushed Claude down onto the recently made bed and climbed onto his lap. "You're about to learn a few things, Claude." I purred.

"Oh, I think it'll be you that will learn a thing or two."

The next morning, I learned why Lea and I never reacted violently to the appearance of the Black Butler characters. It was all a dream. I stretched with a yawn and rolled over on the bed right into another sleeping figure.

"LEAAA! THERE'S A STRANGE MAN IN THIS BED WITH ME!"

**Me: This is what happens between 12-3 am when a story idea comes after watching Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji, then slingshoting like in the story. ... Quite a few didn't hit anything o3o Thus the comment about someone being out there. Thus THIS is born.**

**On a side note, please excuse spelling errors. WE. ARE. TIRED.**


End file.
